*iPhone storage full*
I DIDNT ASK FOR IBOOKS, APPLE WATCH, TIPS, HEALTH, PASSBOOK. OR PODCAST!!!
aaronjohnnson: *iPhone storage full* I DIDNT ASK FOR IBOOKS, APPLE WATCH, TIPS, HEALTH, PASSBOOK....
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klefable: shockingly, kids are sick and tired of paying...
shockingly, kids are sick and tired of paying hundreds of dollars for overpriced stacks of paper!!!!!! who wouldve thought!!!!!!
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partybarackisinthehousetonight: surgeon: hold on i just need to watch this part of the surgery on...
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
surgeon: hold on i just need to watch this part of the surgery on youtube
*30 second unskippable ad plays while the patient is dying*
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felxdawkns: jetpacks-are-fucking-awesome: This is in another...
This is in another language but this conversation is universal, so we understand ever word.
MUM: Beta? (affectionate Hindi word for child/kid)
DAUGHTER: Hanji maa (Yes mother!)
MUM: Betaaaa
DAUGHTER: Kya? (What?)
MUM: Beta!
DAUGHTER: What?!
MUM: [shocked] Arre, besharam- (You shameless little-)
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nyu-tah: kyotobro: Gotta do it You gotta do it
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baby: d-d-d-d
baby: d-d-d-d
dad: daddy?
baby: destroy capitalism
karl marx: nice
dad: daddy?
baby: destroy capitalism
karl marx: nice
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diver5ion: Is she alright?She died.
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dark-delphine: Guys, head over to @tccandler on Twitter and...
Guys, head over to @tccandler on Twitter and nominate Evelyne and Tatiana for their 100 Most Beautiful Faces 2015 list.
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pvnkle: those anarcho punks are mysterious///against me! flash
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ASK AWAY
- 1. Last kiss
- 2. Last phone call
- 3. Last text message
- 4. Last song you listened to
- 5. Last time you cried
- HAVE YOU EVER:
- 6. Dated someone twice
- 7. Been cheated on
- 8. Self harmed
- 9. Lost someone special
- 10. Been depressed
- 11. Been drunk and threw up
- THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
- 12. had sex
- 13. How many people have you had sex with this year?
- 15. Made a new friend
- 17. Laughed until you cried
- 18. Met someone who changed you
- 19. Found out who your true friends were
- 20. Found out someone was talking about you
- 26. What did you do for your last Birthday
- 27. What time did you wake up today
- 29. Name something you CANNOT wait for
- 30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time
- 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life
- 32. What are you listening to right now
- 33. When is the last time you had sex?
- 34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now
- 35. Most visited webpage
- 36. Favorite colour
- 37. Nicknames
- 38. Relationship Status
- 39. Zodiac sign
- 40. Male or female
- 41. Primary school
- 42. Secondary School
- 43. High school/college
- 44. Eye color
- 46. Height
- 47. Do you have a crush on someone
- 48. What do you like about yourself
- 49. Piercings
- 50. Tattoos
- 51. Righty or lefty
- FIRSTS:
- 53. First piercing
- 54. First best friend
- 55. First hookup
- 56. First Bestfriend
- RIGHT NOW:
- 59. Eating
- 60. Drinking
- 61. I’m about to
- 62. Listening to
- 63. Waiting for
- YOUR FUTURE:
- 64. Want kids?
- 65. Get married?
- 66. Career
- WHICH IS BETTER:
- 67. Lips or eyes
- 68. Hugs or kisses
- 69. Shorter or taller
- 70. Older or Younger
- 71. Romantic or spontaneous
- 72. Nice stomach or nice arms
- 73. Sensitive or loud
- 74. Hook-up or relationship
- HAVE YOU EVER:
- 76. Kissed a stranger
- 77. Drank hard liquor
- 78. Lost glasses/contacts
- 79. Had sex
- 80. Broken someone’s heart
- 82. Been arrested
- 83. Turned someone down
- 84. Cried when someone died
- 85. Fallen for a friend
- DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
- 86. Yourself
- 87. Miracles
- 88. Love at first sight
- 89. Heaven
- 90. Santa Clause
- 91. Kiss on the first date
- 92. Angels
- 93. How would you label yourself?
- 94. Someone You Pray Everyday For
- 95. Did you sing today
- 96. Who From All Your Ex’s have You Cared The Most About
- 97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?
- 98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For
- 99. Are you afraid of falling in love?
- 100. Do you like the way you look?
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evelynesmustache:Touch yourself.
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kittykat8311: undercoverqueer: @kittykat8311 its meant to...
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pinkmanjesse: *starts paper the night before its due* *puts a date from several days ago to imply...
*starts paper the night before its due* *puts a date from several days ago to imply to teachers that i am a diligent student who knows how to manage my time wisely*
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yoccu: gender lawful, gender neutral, gender chaotic
gender lawful, gender neutral, gender chaotic
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ultrafunnypictures: steaming cup of fuck you
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danasoupchef: I was supposed to be making an Alison gif set for...
I was supposed to be making an Alison gif set for my wife, but I got distracted.
She’s really effing distracting.
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glitterbutch: transbutts: bogustothemax: I came out to pretty...
I came out to pretty much everyone today.
Then I went one scarier…and came out to my cat.
Too cute.
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cosimas: orphan black rewatch: 1x10, endless forms most...
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"I wish I knew every single language in the world so I could experience everything. One language and..."
“I wish I knew every single language in the world so I could experience everything. One language and one culture are not enough for the complexity of my mind.”
- Lynette Simeone (via wordsnquotes)
- Lynette Simeone (via wordsnquotes)
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please talk french leather to me
delphine (an individual who more or less has her shit together) being bullied by sarah (an individual who does not, at all, has her shit together) for her ‘sophisticated’ lifestyle
the morning after sleeping over for the first time, for some magical reason sarah is the first to wake up (after all, delphine’s been working late and then had the sex all night, it was an exhausting day) and she’s having some troubles navigating in delphine’s apartment
a little later a sleepy (but still rocking that bed hair) delphine stumbles into the living room, finding sarah stretched out on the couch with a bowl of cereal in her lap and her feet put up on the coffee table (cringe) watching some dumb cartoon and snort-laughing with mouth full (god how cute that little shit can be)
“don’t” is all delphine says as she approaches her beau and lazily pushes her legs off the table
“I’M EATING” sarah is (super) offended
because she’s eating
cereal
(how did she even find cereal)
(was that that one thing delphine bought forever ago and then never got to even open it because she’s always in a morning hurry anyway)
“do you want me to spill food all over your fancy couch?” although the punk rock hoe is tiny (very smol) the smug grin on her face is rather big (takes up about half of her face)
“i reckon you already have” delphine sighs dramatically as she fights for a spot on (her own) furniture
tragically
having to snuggle up to sarah
who seems
(weirdly)
energized
“ew, get off me” (that’s not what she said last night) and sarah fights with impressive strength, somehow managing to not spill the cereal on delphine’s (fancy) couch
delphine scrunches up her nose, furrowing her brows “did you make coffee?”
“yea”
she raises the question, deep down knowing that the answer won’t be much of her liking “did you make some for me too?”
“nah man i’m not your maid, make your own” (how romantic)
but that’s when delphine realizes
she didn’t have milk in the fridge
she meant to buy some last night but then things got (super) gay and it was no time to think about cows
she did not
have milk
in the fridge
“did you…” with a suspicious look on her face, she looks down and at the contents of the bowl
the liquid is not white
(it’s not)
“…did you use coffee instead of milk?!” (sarah, are you eating a BOWL of coffee?!)
“couldn’t find milk” (shrugs)
(you IDIOT) “you LITTLE-” delphine snatches the bowl and it leaves sarah in (utter) dismay
how dare she
take her
bowl of cereal
“WHAT’S YOUR ISSUE GIVE IT BACK”
“HUMANS AREN’T DESIGNATED TO HAVE A BOWL OF COFFEE FOR BREAKFAST SARAH YOU’RE NOT GETTING A HEART ATTACK IN MY APARTMENT”
suddenly delphine (or more like, everyone) is wide awake
“I’M TELLING YOU-”
(nope) “no!”
(seriously delphine) “GIVE IT BACK” at this point sarah’s trying to climb over her heartthrob’s shoulder, trying to fight her for the bowl but damn frenchie knows some excellent ways to keep her from her object of desire (the bowl of (coffee) cereal)
suddenly, delphine jumps up and with a pace of a sprint champion she rushes into the kitchen, leaving several tiny puddles of split coffee behind
she has the upper hand, because, well, sarah is (still) (very) confused about the directions in that apartment.
delphine throws the bowl in the sink as sarah busts into the kitchen
unfortunately
(unfortunately)
her fast acceleration
(fast)
mixed with yet another spot of slippery coffee
(slippery)
takes its toll
delphine can witness it all from the front row
she sees it in slow motion
(slow motion)
sarah’s wobbling, flapping around like a fish out of water, trying to find her balance
unsuccessfully so
and she falls
she falls hard
lands on her back
with a big (LOUD) SHIIIIIITE
“SARAH!” delphine rushes to her side
(gets on her knees)
(palms pressed against the cold surface coated with coffee)
(she doesn’t care)
(bae’s potentially hurt)
(because of cereal)
(a bowl of coffee ceral)
(who the FUCK thinks that’s a good thing to have for breakfast anyway)
“did you hit your head, are you okay?!”
“this is ALL YOUR fault i HATE THIS PLACE”
and then sarah just lies there
staring at the ceiling
she’s silent
they’re both silent
and then
the laugh
they both laugh
(so) loud
and (so) hard
and then
delphine straddles sarah’s lap
“i think i better check your vitals”
she smirks
(if she’s about to go into cardiac arrest anyway)
(because of all that coffee)
(i might as well)
(give her a better reason)
(to make her shake)
and then
things get (very) gay
again
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